My first time of great amazement was the time at age 16 when I succeeded to understand General Relativity. After managing in the previous weeks to define the ingredients of the Einstein field equation (components of space-time curvature and stress-energy tensor in a given basis), one night in my bed for hours instead of falling asleep I managed to put them together by writing the equations relating them, roughly from the reasoning presented there. Of course there has been other good times around my diverse explorations of maths, physics and some programming (the Mandelbrot set...) but with not so great intensity. Then was my long, absolutely devastating period of mental slavery in these academic concentration camps "for the elite" called "classes prepa"...
The second time, was when I visited the municipal garden of Rouen... nothing special you may say, but what made it special is that, I was rediscovering life and the beauty of flowers there after 3 years I mainly spent, just a few hundred meters from that garden, in the hell of classes preparatoires, those academic concentration camps for young people having the misfortune of being fond of science in a society for which reacts to this gift of nature by some assumption of absolute "need" to undergo many years of mental torture just for the sake of "proving" oneself to the eyes of fucking stupid administrators, as if I gave a shit.
The third time, I happened to get out of depression for a period of few months as I was in Paris during my studies (at ENS Ulm then Jussieu)... I was then hyperactive and very excited... it was mainly without very concrete "reasonable" cause, though it roughly coincided in time with one clearly valid cause of amazement : that having followed a course of mathematical logic I was in the process of putting together my understanding of it. But then I fell again into depression worse and worse during my PhD. Unlike previous times (when it could be mainly because of that stupid academic system around) that time it was roughly exclusively because I was still single which really isn't a decent condition of living.
My forth amazing time was... as I had a girlfriend. But it only lasted for about 10 days, which made me feel well for just a couple of months after this.
Then I slowly fell back to depression which became worse and worse, caused not only by loneliness but also by my devout Evangelical Christian faith which I desperately kept trying to preserve but which was progressively crumbling. I believed I had to worship God but I just couldn't, because of my depression and the desperate absence of all kind of help or confort from above. According to the doctrine it had to be my fault regardless, so I felt guilty but yet this claim did not fit with my experience (I couldn't see it fair). I progressively accumulated a few observations of wrong things in the claims and behaviors of churches around, yet I was not sure what to do of these observations : I thought some change was needed there, yet if I tried to speak, people didn't understand. My tried of making sense of things from a Christian viewpoint appeared more and more hopeless. All my thoughts, my ideas, my understanding of life, felt more and more senseless until all my thoughts, the universe, life and everything, seemed to be nothing more that a huge pack of hopeless absolute nonsense.
At last once reached that point, I could leave my Christian faith like one can leave a bus after it crashed in an accident. And that was amazing: the great liberation of my intelligence. At last I was free. After spending so many years in never fullfilled expectation of some divine revelation that would explain to me the hidden reason of things (as I thought other Christians had, though they actually don't, now I know they only vainly call "divine revelation" and "meeting with God" some stupid nonsensical feelings or calls to spend their life spamming their faith around, devoid of all meaningful sense and understanding), finally I experienced an amazing revelation, from... my own natural intelligence. I suddenly allowed myself to acknowledge the many bits of understanding which I had accumulated in the previous years, and which I previously shamed myself of as sorts of sins and wrongly labelled as "nonsense". And to let them put themselves together like pieces of a great puzzle of a new amazingly clear understanding of life, and of why and how Christianity is so terribly wrong. But it was a complex puzzle. One of the rare times that I felt my intelligence beneficial to myself, while there must be many other Christians whose faith similarly crashed but who could not rebuild themselves after this ("religious trauma syndrome")
Still it was not all great: apart from purely intellectual matters I was still suffering depression, due to loneliness, disgust of having wasted so much energy in Christianity for so long, disgust of all the misjugement of Christians who neither could nor even tried to understand anything of all what I finally understood, but so foolishly accused me of having betrayed God.
The relief did not last for so long. I started teaching mathematics at university, wasting my time in the service of that fucking absurd academic system, and at the end I had to stop it for depression. All people around kindly pressured me, for the sake of the wonderful administrative position of socially assisted person that was offered just for my case by the nice French social security system, to accept following all the fuss of regular visits to psychiatrists, who turn out to... lie to me and hide to me their diagnosis of absolute insanity which absolutely required to trick me into swallowing the most devatated pills they could find to irreversibly destroy my brain for the rest of my life and turn me into a vegetable. And they succeeded, after almost one year, for the precise time when I clearly said I absolutely did not want anything that might have any long term effect. Once again, another of the expressions of my natural but always foolish and undeserved (as experience already demonstrated to me over and over again) temptations to believe that humanity around could anyhow be gifted of any kind of vital minumum sense of civilization, at least so as to not behave in some of the most barbaric, cynical, wicked,... simply diabolical ways exceedind the wildest imagination of all horror film producers of the world combined, was awfully betrayed.
So by 1 pill, for 2 weeks it was absolutely horrible. After that I turned out to go somewhat better, but still not well. What was worst to me : suffering loneliness or that brain damage ? I thought loneliness was still the worse of both. Still that brain damage was quite bad. For many years I suffered that, feeling like but the shadow of myself: a continuous feeling of heaviness of brain, a sort of fatigue, it was somehow painful thinking. For example, especially trying to concentrate when there was noise around, felt unbearable. Still I kept working to develop my texts of maths, as, what else of life could I do ? Commit suicide ? Indeed, why the heck did I keep enduring this hell of a barbaric humanity doing everything to persecute me, I wonder. So : most of the work in this site was done while I was just feeling like the shadow of myself, suffering this brain damage which was authoritatively inflicted to me by the French institutions. You want the state to promote science and the best teachings of science that is by works like mine ? The best way for this is to tell them to cancel all expenses supposedly for this purpose, close all academic institutions, fire all professors and all psychiatrists ! Yes, seriously, such a measure could save many geniuses from the systematic destruction of their lives by these institutions as I endured.
And the last amazing time of my life, was my experience with Boji stones
In the 4 times with the bigger ones, the session lasted each time for a couple of hours
(while it would last for shorter times (like half an hour or one hour) with the other pair in august),
and these took place roughly once every other day (thus for 1 week in total), because, as he
explained, the stones continue working for about 2 days after each session. The first day, I did not notice any
progress. The second day (so as there was no session that day) I started to feel a bit better in my left brain,
though it was not so clear yet. After the second session (not sure when I started noticing the effect),
I really felt much better in my left brain, so that I felt my left brain as much better than my right brain !
I left the 3rd session like a resurrected person ! I rediscovered the feeling of having a healthy
brain, a sensation of "normal life" as it was for me before my adventures with mad psychiatrists
but which I had lost since so many years ! That really was one of the most amazing
times of my life. Still the situation was not perfect, because it was well on each side of the brain
but with still a trouble in between, on the interface between both sides of the brain. The 4th session
resolved that last aspect, letting the sensation more homogeneously well throughout the brain.
The result of the first pair's work was, thus, that I felt healed at 90% or so for my sensations, except that the effect of trembling of jaws which was another manifestation of the neurological damage, was still there, seemingly not diminished. So when the man invited me to resume sessions with the second pair in the beginning of september, for a remaining needed work which according to his pendulum, would take about one month, I hoped it could act on this last aspect. However in contrast with the clearly beneficial effect of the first pair, after a few sessions I had doubts that the second pair, while it was clearly active, was indeed beneficial to me, while the man insisted they were, as if they were "designed for" me. Example of how it once felt that seemed somewhat worrying to me : once I had such a strong sensation during session, it was like a very big pressure on some part of my brain. Not a mechanical pressure of course but some kind of chemical pressure, a pressure of fatigue or sleepiness, but that time it was stronger than other times. Then I kept a sensation there for maybe one day or two, a sort of footprint of that pressure I felt, like if someone stepped on your hand for a few minutes you would keep feeling the sensation of smashing for some time after it was gone.
The time of sessions itself did not feel comfortable, however, even if the physical disposition of the body was as comfortable as possible with eventual times of sleep. Because the Boji are working, for a cure, and it isn't supposed to be more tasty than other medicines. Usually, from the time of taking them, one in each hand, it very quickly (in the second or maybe a couple of seconds) starts by a sensation of some kind of "energy" in the hands, or in one of the hands, the one on the side by which the Boji "decided" to start their work. Precisely, this feels like a kind of swarming, or electricity. But I'm rather confident that it cannot be explained in terms of electricity as we normally know it, despite the metallic character of the stones, because the configuration of things and the mode of propagation of the sensation do not fit with the normal laws of electric conduction as I know them. From the hand(s), the "energy" sensation propagates through the arm and up to the brain in a time that may be like 30 seconds, but may also be faster. One time I thought, the delay may correspond to the time it takes for the blood to circulate and "carry" the "energy" with it, and this might actually be the time and mode of propagation in some cases. However other times it seemed to go quite faster, not letting this explanation suffice.
In the long run as I got used to the sessions with the second pair, he left me to notice myself when it ends. Indeed sometines this is quite clear feeling : it does end at a precise moment, while other times the end is much more unclear and progressive. Sometimes the session follows a schema in 3 phases: in a first phase, the "work" happens on one side of the body (either the left half or the right half ; I especially notice that for the brain, but it probably goes the same for the whole body), then moves to the other side (the sensation of energy on the first side stops while it starts on the other side), then after some time it moves back to the first side, then it stops completely. That is the way it happens "as the boji decide to work" by themselves while I stay neutral, not doing anything about it. Sometimes the man was there perceiving the work of the Boji in my body, especially in the first half minute of the session. When he reported perceiving that the Boji were working on a certain side of my body, he was generally correct (as it fitted with what I was already feeling myself immediately before he said). There can be different variations from this 3 phases. Sometimes it seems to work equally both sides. Sometimes the last phase has less intensity, staying like undecided whether it keeps working or not. This lateralization of sensations, when it occurred, did not follow either my expectations nor my will, but purely its own "decisions". I do not remember such a lateralization (asymmetry) of sensations from any other circumstance of my life.
Among the many sessions, there has been 2 times when I felt no work at all, or almost. By contrast with
the habbit of feeling their energy the rest of times, I was almost surprised to have these stones in hand
and not feel from them anything else than if it was... just ordinary stones. This inactivity may be caused
by the saturation of having had more frequent sessions in previous days.
Other times I was surprised of
how quick and strong it starts. For example as he gave me the stones in their leather pockets,
letting me go by myself to the living room and take them out of their pockets for the session,
I have been surprised when grabbing them, to already feel their energy in my hands as they
directly come to tickle my hands through their leather pockets while I wasn't ready
(I didn't have in mind) to start the session yet.
While the "normal" way is to have the "male" boji in the left hand and the "female" in the right hand (but it actually doesn't matter, as he explained), one time, once they were taken out of their pockets on the table on my right, I grabbed the "male" stone by my right hand as I intended to put it immediately from there to my left hand for the session, but I didn't even have the time to do it, that it immediately "grabbed" itself my right hand with its energy... well of course nothing could physically stop me from going on to put it to my left hand if I decided so, but I thought "well okay as you wish" so I kept it in my right hand and took the "female" on the left. So this started the session on the right side, and quite strongly so.
Sometimes the "energy" sensation was rather weak or ending, so it seemed to be running into an end of session or a weak kind of work. As I did not want to either end nor keep waiting without significant effect, I undertook to "forcefully" restart the session by putting the stones on my neck instead of my belt (the man never mentioned to me such a method). This has usually been effective, though not instantaneous (quite less instantaneous than the sensation in hands at the start of session): after about 20 seconds holding them on the neck I started feeling some kind of heaviness in the brain as a result. Of course, in the times of sessions when the stones were on the neck, the resulting sensations of working energies were usually more focused on the brain and other upper parts of the body than when stones were in hands at the belt, even if the sensations on the brain could also be often strong in the latter case.
End of september, I had a dispute with him, which
made me interrupt the sessions. I hoped that it would be okay as that the one month period he said needed
was passed but 2 weeks later I felt not so well
anymore, as if the whole benefit of the stones was going away and I had the impression of falling back
to the previous situation of fatigue and heaviness of the brain. I wondered if somehow the Boji
behaved like a drug, making me dependent of them. I came back to him, he claimed that it was
normal that there is a lot of work needed that takes a long time, and that the boji cannot be a drug anyway...
even if it may be logical, as some people do, that I get my own stones for life.
Effects can be quite strange. Among other aspects of behavior and variations from the above
mentioned 3 phases cycle, I would say I experienced a sort of cyclic behavior a bit similar to the cycle
between sleep and wake, like a car can go to the garage for repair then go out for normal activity,
so "sleep" means a feeling of heaviness in the brain, that a work should be going on (but may be
stalled), which should be for the time of session, while "wake" means feeling okay. But that is a
cycle of "wake" and "sleep" that goes on quite independently of the normal one. It is a cycle that
turns at "high speed" during the session, i.e. when having the stones in hand, such as one change
or cycle per half an hour, or per hour, but very slowly the rest of time : the state in which I was left
when ending the boji session may stay roughly unchanged while day and night can pass with their
regular wake and sleep cycle,but it may take several days to evolve along its sort of cycle as long
as the boji are not used. Different parts of the brain may be in different states: there can be a
sensation of heaviness in a precise spot of the brain, may it be on top or some inside part, so it
will stay like this with slow evolution (such as growing in size) along days and night without the
boji, but evolve much faster with the boji.
After restarting the sessions after the 2 weeks break of the first half of october, I continued at a similar frequency of once every 2 days until the end of december (and some of the above described experiences are from october-november). The last ones felt more clearly like a "cure" than previous ones, that is, I felt significantly better in december, especially quite healthy near the end of december, and even more especially as a result of the last session, than in previous months. So as I stopped, my worry was whether this healthiness would remain, unlike what happened in October (when I felt the bad sensations coming back after two weeks). I remained well for about 2 weeks, so I was optimistic: I seemed going quite better than in october. Then bad sensations of heaviness came back, but not so much. It is variable, I just need sometimes more time of rest than if I was perfectly healthy, but finally (now in the end of january) I can say I'm not as well as in the end of december, but anyway still much better than before August.
He told me stories of experiencing the effects of stones on other people. This isn't what
influenced me to believe in the reality of the power of these stones, since of course a logical
possibility remains that those stories were invented, but I think they were real because of
context, not only my reasons to see him as sincere because of diverse things which I have
no time to develop here, but more precisely, the
strength of my personal experience of these stones as described above is for
me the clearest proof of the reality of their supernatural power.
One time was with a very materialistic friend who had just done a marathon, so that friend
was completely exhausted physically, and came to sit together. Not
believing in the power of these stones, he was simply given the stones in the hands, without any
further comment. He then felt those strange sensations in the body, and was puzzled at that.
After a moment, he found himself completely rested and well : all the fatigue of the marathon
was gone. And that made him angry. He was angry, shouting "No, don't tell me it's the
stones !" or the like. The funny
thing is that it was not a reply to any claim : the magic man was simply silent and watching
all that time. And amused at this reaction of "skeptical" anger against not any claim of his,
but only against the concrete experience of what the stones had just clearly done by
themselves.
In another conversation, he explained that there was a period in the past when he did regular OBE while life would have been otherwise very boring to him. And it is from these regular OBE that he finally developed his extrasensorial perceptions which I saw him practicing. This event of developing ESP as a result of regular OBE is something I heard from another person (in media reports): the case of Nicolas Fraisse.